He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
