Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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