and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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