please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize