I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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