i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
