I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
