Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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