whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize