nut hugger
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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