she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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