Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
