he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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