bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
