Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize