Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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