Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize