I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
