exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
