you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
