Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
