Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
