I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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