I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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