ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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