those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
