Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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