Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
