singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm always down for nudity.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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