So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
