I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
