don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
