He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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