i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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