you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My feet surprised me
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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