Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
