Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize