I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
