OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
