is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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