I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
