WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
