I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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