I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Randomize
