Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
