Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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