Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
