I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
