Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
