I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
