Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
