Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Congratulations! We have a period
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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