I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Swine flu is the new snow day.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
be right there i have to get my cape
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
