2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
