he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
