so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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