So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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