I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
