I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize