I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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