if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize