I can tuck mytits in my pants
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
